the tinder effect.

a little story about tinder magic, brought to you by me dear friend krys gardner:  

Let's just say that it all began in the park; that is where I was when the ball started rolling.  It was April, the sun was out, and well it was the proverbial mating season.  Not like the mammal mating season, but the mating season that I like to call the Spring love. I am sure that you have seen it before. Just as it starts to warm up it seems as though all the singles in highly concentrated young adult area suddenly get all excited again that it is warm, so they drop what they should be doing and start their pursuit of a mate. Outdoor recreation increases, talks about boating trips and summer flings are discussed.

Well, it was that time of year, but it also happened to be my last semester in college that just so happened to be in one of these highly concentrated young adult areas.  It is needless to say that my so called "school load" was less of a load and more of a hop skip in the park.  So when it came to the end of the semester and the dreaded finals time there was little if anything to worry about.  I was more concerned about how I could make a scene in the testing center filled with younger college students - the ones who still had semesters left in college - upon completion of my last "final".

Trying, but not trying excessively hard, to do the college last minute cram prep for my final I began making plans to study. Being one who lives for warm weather, I refused to be stuck with the masses inside a library where the air is stuffy, natural light doesn't shine, and there is a great feeling of anxiety in the air. (The irony of belief that if I spend the next 4 hours learning I'll remember everything I didn't learn over the past 4 months and that I have to learn in order to pass this class to not ruin the rest of my life). I thought to call a good friend of mine, a friend I knew was more the relaxed type and who was in her last semester as well.  "Hey, so are you studying... well, we should go to the park to study, I think it would be good for us." It didn't take a whole lot of convincing for her to say yes, and with a moments notice we were off to the park to sun bathe, laugh, and talk about how much studying we hadn't done because it was our last semester of college.

Over the years I have always joked about being ADD, however let me be clear in saying that I have never been clinically or officially diagnosed. I am just one who has a talent for being distracted - squirrel. I have gone far enough to try and take online tests, and in one case was successful at completing the test because I had a friend who made me do it. The result of the test was an obvious likely candidate for ADD. This isn't to complain though because life never gets boring. Back to the story though...

Being a self-diagnosed ADD student, being at the park did nothing to help me concentrate and to study. After settling in on the grass with blanket and all, a couple couldn't have appeared more than 50 yards away to "play" football. We know they weren't there to play football though... football was merely the justified activity that broke the physical touch barrier that ultimately led to a giant cuddle and make out fest on the grass. To each their own; there was nothing that they did that bothered me, but I couldn't help look and think...

Long story short, I redownloaded the well-known, under-appreciated app Tinder. For those reading this that don't know what Tinder is, there is no time to explain in detail the app. For those who have judged and said I am shallow, judge as you will.

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THIS is where it all started. Upon downloading the app I had decided I would start conversation with every match I had. I spent the better part of a couple of hours swiping and starting conversations with cheese ball one liners. Over this short period of time I was incredibly successful having 15+ new matches and started an easy 10+ new conversations.  I quickly went from having a very open schedule to being consumed with trying to keep Addy straight from Kayla, Nikky from Maddy, and the like.  And to be completely honest I did confuse a couple at one point, but it was Tinder so recovery was fairly easy. My phone went from being able to survive for the better part of the day to suddenly only lasting a couple of hours before begging to be charged.

DISCLAIMER: I hadn't deleted an account I had made earlier so I had stored up a bunch of potential matches... I don't really get that many matches all the time... I am really just average. Not a Provo Alastair with lots of tan pictures of me and my six pack of abs sitting on a boat at Lake Powell.

When it comes to the Meyers Briggs personality profile I am a definite E for Extrovert rather than being an I for introvert.  Talking to people is just my thing. It has its pros and its cons and every time I take a career placement test I am told I should be in some kind of counseling, teaching, or sales position because of my need for constant communication and social interaction. Having the multiplicity of new matches I was eager to get to know all of them so I would spend the vast majority of my days (and often into the hours of the night) talking and getting to know each of these girls.

Now lets be honest, I wasn't just interested in talking to the girls all the time. Don't let your mind wander; these girls had passed the physical attraction test, and if they could pass the communication test why not actually go out with them. The semester was quickly over and the dates begun.

I remember a lot of them well. There were a lot of great girls and consequently a lot of great dates. We did anything from lunch to going shooting, or playing in the park and a motorcycle ride. I had the mentality that if I wanted to go do something, I might as well invite a girl to come do it with me. Interestingly enough though, there was this one girl (we will call her Nikki for the sake of this blog post).

Nikki was very desirable.  She either knew how to play the game well or she was just really lucky, but she was also extremely frustrating. Her profile pictures resembled much of the ones that are good enough to draw you in, but leave you just enough mystery to keep you in suspense with a sense of mild indecision on exactly how attractive she is. There was no doubt she was definitely hot. Her pictures also did a great job at telling a story. She was funny (insert picture of her laughing her head off for no reason other than to take the picture for Tinder). She was sophisticated (insert picture playing a musical instrument). She was fun (insert picture of her playing outdoors). She was spiritual (insert picture of her with friends at what appears to be a church). She was hot (insert well practiced selfie that doesn't overwhelm).

All I wanted for Christmas (in Spring) was to meet Nikki in person and the fact that she made it difficult just made me chase harder and harder. We probably had 2 or 3 dates that were supposed to happen but due to issues on both parities accounts fell through.  Despite the failed attempts we continued to talk semi-frequently.

Nikki couldn't last forever though. As if it was a horse-race, eventually I got burned out with Nikki and a new prospect appeared on the horizon. For times sake, we will cut to the chase and say right now the new prospect won out.  For better or for worse I kind of just dropped things with Nikki... mid-conversation and all (remember the squirrel ADD problem, it happens with girls too).

Fast forward 6 months.  At this point I had dated and broken up with the new prospect and had a few other flings after.

I get this text, "Hey, are you free on January 5?" from my old roommate who I was living with when I downloaded Tinder.  "Uh, that is kind of far out, so I am going to say yeah", I replied. "Cool, I AM GETTING MARRIED, and want you there". I didn't even know my buddy was dating someone so this came somewhat of a shock. Of course I said yes and I moved on, but a couple of days later I got a big surprise.

I opened up Instagram and there was picture of my buddy with his new fiancé. I knew her and I couldn't figure it out, and then it clicked. NIKKI. NIKKI. NIKKI. Oh crap! My old roommate is getting married to this girl that I chased and talked to a bunch on Tinder. I know this really isn't a big deal, but it really is an awkward deal.

Yeah so if I can recognize her that quick, do you think she'll recognize me? And just how does that conversation go when I meet her for the first time most-likely in wedding ceremony? Do I tell my buddy before hand? Or do I let it ride and see if she brings it up? And if she brings it up do I act ignorant like I don't know what she is talking about? Or do I just wait till the wedding and my first line to her in the presence of my buddy, "Oh hey, we both swipped right, I remember you!"

For now, it is a mystery how it will all go down, but for the last option sounds the most plausible.