i went shopping last night. and a shirt got stuck on me in the dressing room. like, worse than it's ever been. i should've known better that tugging so hard to get it on was a bad idea. i was dying of laughter in there. so much that the associate asked if i was ok. i told her i was stuck ha ha ha ha. she asked if i needed help, but i don't know if she really thought that question through too well... did she really want to come in the dressing room and help me get my shirt off? i hope not.. maybe it's one of those courteous things to say? ha ha ha ha ha. so then she just laughed with me, outside the door. and i never knew when or if she walked away...?
but i literally just couldn't get the shirt off for a good 3 minutes. just tug tug tug. then i had to walk out to the associate and hand her the item. she had this silly smirk on her face and i was a mess... red face, hair totally messed up, a little embarrassed... but it was like we bonded over the funny moment. hahahahaha. anyway, on my way home, i was just thinking about all the interesting things that happen when shopping. and how many pet peeves i have about shopping. here's a compilation of a few - most of which have to do with the dressing room.
when you're in the dressing room and the associate knocks on the door to see if you need anything. i never know if they're talking to me or someone else... so do you respond?
when the associate knocks on the door when you're in the dressing room to see if the room is occupied or not. i also never know if they're knocking on my door or someone else's. and what do you respond? "here!" "occupied" "yes, may i help you?" bahhh.
when you go in the dressing room and the associate says "let me know if you need another size". i've always wondered how exactly i let them know that... it's not like they stand there and wait for you to drape a shirt over the door. and i'm not about to walk out in my underwear to ask her for another size. furthermore, if i'm going to put my real shirt on and come out anyway, what's the point of having an associate find the size? i just assume to find it myself. useless customer service.
when the associates at downeast ask your name and write it on the door they always put an "h" on sara. my biggest pet peeve second only to the 1/16 ply toilet paper in public restrooms (a post for another day).
when you're walking into the dressing room and the associate goes in before you to clean it out and holds the door open for you... so you have to shimmy your way past them with your armful of clothes, usually scraping them with one of the hangers sticking out.
when you've been holding the hangers on your hand so long that your hand is turning blue from no circulation.
when you get in the dressing room and the associate hasn't cleaned out the room, so you have to find a place to hang your clothes amongst all the others draped everywhere.
when there is only one hook in the entire dressing room. i need at least 3. one for clothes i haven't tried on yet, one for things i'm going to buy, and one for things i'm going to not buy. old navy has this going right.
when the dressing room has little numbered cards that you take to your room and i never know if they want them on the door so they can see, or just take them in? target you take them in, but gordman's hangs on the door. it's just so hard to tell! argh.
when there's a limit of how many clothes you can take in, and you have one more item than that limit but the associate makes you leave the one item with her and come back to exchange it when you're done trying on the others. this means you have to get re-dressed and come back out then go back in and get undressed again. for ONE ITEM.
when each associate in the store pretends to be folding a shirt near you then proceeds to ask if you're finding everything ok. my question is, do most people come to a clothing store looking for one specific thing?? aren't most people "just looking?" i am... this question bothers me. just let me shop in peace. if i need you, i know where to find you.
when all the associates ignore you. i realize this is completely contrary to the previous point... but i think there's a nice balance between being friendly and acknowledging your customers, and being a helicopter associate vs. acting like you aren't even in the store, ya know?
when all the songs on the store radio make you want to die.
when you're ready to try the clothes on and you don't know if you have to ask for a fitting room to be opened or not. sometimes when you ask for a room to be opened, the associate rolls her eyes and says, "they're open..." and sometimes when you go to find one on your own, you have to bend over and check underneath the stalls to see if anyone is in there and the associate sees you and asks if you need a room and i want to reply, "no, i'm just looking under the doors for fun..." or places like smith's marketplace, where you have to pick up the phone and it calls an associate to come to your assistance and you just stand there awkwardly waiting until they come. and if they never do you just climb under the door. totally proper, right?
when you're in the dressing room and the floor is nastier than heck and you don't want to take your shoes off. i'm talking mostly about thrift stores here. i always pray that i don't get some sort of foot fungus or tape worm from stepping on the floors of some dressing rooms. you think i'm joking about the praying thing? i'm not.
when you put on a shirt then soon realize it's stuck. like, so stuck that you cannot get it off yourself. you shimmy and shake and slither and pull and tug with your arms straight up in the air for what seems like forever and by the time it's off your hair is a mess including being extremely static and you have red marks all over your arms and face from pulling
when you're trying on an item that is too small or you didn't realize there was a hidden zipper and you hear a seam rip. oops...
when you're coming out of the dressing room and it's not clear where you put your unwanted clothes. do you leave them in the room? give them to an associate? hang them on a rack outside the room? put them back yourself?!
when you aren't familiar with the sizing of the store, so you pick a bunch of clothes off the rack that you think are your size, but when you get to the dressing room you realize after trying on the first one that they run small, so you have 7 items that don't fit. eek.
when something looks dynamite on the rack or mannequin, but when you put it on you wonder if that was the same shirt that was being advertised.
when the mannequins are missing limbs.
when you're checking out and the associate asks if you found everything ok. i've honest to goodness never known how to answer that. if i did by chance have a list of clothing items that i was looking for, the chances that i really did find every single thing i was looking for during that hour at that store is pretty slim. and if i didn't have a list, i feel like to say "yes" to that question would be to lie. i didn't find everything, but how could i when i didn't even know what i was looking for to begin with. or what about those yellow pants i really wanted to buy but they had every size but mine? did she want me to rant about that?
when you're at the cash register and the associate tells you about a deal... "this variety of shirt is buy one get one half off" and you feel pressured to buy another one... but there are tons of people waiting in line so you have to make a quick decision about which one you want and hope that it fits because you didn't try it on.
when you're at the cash register and try to be friendly and the friendliness isn't returned. small talk aint gonna kill ya, sweetheart.
when you walk out of the store and the door beeps, making a huge scene.
when you walk out of the store and the door beeps, making a huge scene, but none of the associates look up. so you're looking around all suspicious-like trying to decide if you should walk back to the associate desk or just walk away and they're giving no non-verbal or verbal cues.
when you walk out of the store and the door beeps, making a huge scene, and other customers look at you disgustedly as if your associate forgetting to take the ink tag of was your fault. i'm not stealing, i promise.
when you walk out of the store and get into your car, or home, and realize the ink tags are still on and you have to go back to the store to get them removed. #worst
so that's that. all i have left to say is, last night i really thought i might have to cut that shirt off, then pay for the damage. or worse, wear it the rest of my life. close call. close call.
I totally hate clothes shopping for a whole lot of these reasons too.
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