i'm immune to the cheese touch

as a teacher, i find myself saying things that a normal adult would probably never say in the course of a day, unless they have kids of their own, or work with them.  some gems that've popped out of my mouth this week alone:

- i'm immune to the cheese touch
- the pencil does not belong up your nose
- the pencil is not chocolate
- the pencil is not a sword
- the pencil is not a light saber either
- no, that wasn't your pencil talking, i can see your lips moving 
- the pencil is for writing, not scratching your bum
- if the pencil is dull, the proper way to sharpen it is with the sharpener, not your teeth
- stop barking at me
- does it look like i'm about to have a baby?
- your boogers need to stay in your nose
- stop cuddling on the rug
- six years old is too young to have a boyfriend
- last time i checked fingers don't talk
- your thinking cap is broken?
-  why have your eyes been crossed all morning? 
- no, you may not hold hands with your boyfriend in line
- if i'm still single when you're old enough to be married, ask me that question again
- i love your gangnam style dance, but right now it's time to read
- please walk across the room and save gangnam style for recess
- yes, you do gangnam style better than the korean dude 
- you don't need your wolverine claws during class
- but seriously, put the wolverine claws away until recess
- you might think you're Flash, but even Flash has to walk in the room and down the hall
- by "silent", i didn't mean turn to your neighbor and start singing "let it go"
-  how do you know the song "black and yellow?"
- let's choose a different word than this one (sh**) for the -it word family

this is killing me, i gotta stop.  first grade is adventure central.  (and don't worry, i don't spend all day reprimanding my children... the reprimands just seem to have the funniest connotation).  hazzahh!