the pursuit of happiness

I spoke in church today, and a few people asked for the transcript of my talk.  So, I wrote it out and thought I'd share it here too.  Enjoy :)  

The Pursuit of Happiness - November 30
Sara Ence, Westminster YSA Ward

I know Jesus Christ lives.  He is my personal Savior.  Of all the things I could share from this pulpit today, that is the most important.  Christ has provided a path for us, a path that is well-lit and full of support.  We are promised that if we follow that path, we will be blessed with happiness in this life, and eternal life in the world to come.  Today, I’ve chosen to speak about the pursuit of that happiness in our lives. 

There’s a man named Benjamin Wallace that lives in Manhattan.  He is an author, and wrote a book called “The Billionaire’s Vinegar” which addressed a mystery about the world’s most expensive bottle of wine.  In this process of writing this book, he went on a quest to answer this question:  “Why do people spend crazy amounts of money on things, and are they living a better life than me be because of it?”  Basically “Can you purchase happiness?” 

With the backing of a magazine he was then writing for, he went out and tried the most expensive item in about a dozen categories.  Things like test driving a Bugatti, staying at a $40,000 a night hotel, purchasing an $800 pair of jeans, and eating a $180 piece of Kobe beef steak.  He also did some research about an experiment that Stanford and Cal Tech students performed where they brought in a bunch of people and hooked them up to brain imaging, then asked them to taste test different bottles of wine.  All the wine was the same, but they were labeled with different price tags. 

In the end, all the people in the study not only claimed to enjoy the more expensively labeled wine more than the others, but the brain imaging results proved that they did indeed feel more pleasure from the “more expensive” wine.  Benjamin’s conclusion was that you actually can buy happiness, but our happiness is reflected through the way that we perceive things, and our value system. 

There’s another man named Dan Gilbert who is a Harvard psychologist and authored a book called “Stumbling on Happiness”.  In this book, he challenges an idea that we are naturally miserable when we don’t get what we want.

He performed one experiment where he put 7 Monet prints in front of different people and asked them to rank the prints in order of the one they liked the most to the one they liked the least.  When they were done ordering them, he told them they could take either choice 3 or 4 home.  Everyone chose the painting they had ranked in 3^rd place.  A week later, he invited the same people back to rank the same Monet prints again.  Without fail, every person ranked the previous 3^rd choice (the one they had taken home and spent all week with) as their new #1 choice, and their original 4^th choice as their last choice.  This result was consistent for even the amnesia patients, who didn’t even know they had a Monet print in their hospital room, and didn’t remember anything about ranking them previously. 

Dan Gilbert goes on to speak about the difference between natural happiness – what we get when we get what we want - and Synthetic happiness – what we make when we don’t get what we want. 

He came to the conclusion that in the long run, people are actually much happier when they have synthesized or constructed their own happiness, rather than given what they thought they wanted.  

I find it interesting that the research of the world will often parallel principles of the gospel, just in more secular terms.  Elder Wirthlin said, “Come what may and love it!”  President Monson instructs, “Let us relish life as we live it, and find joy in the journey”.  2 Nephi 2:25 says, “Men are that they might have joy” – a conditional statement which the Lord has placed responsibility on us to FIND joy in whatever season of life we are in. 

I believe all humans desire happiness in their lives.  But the way they define happiness, or what makes them happy, is different.  Recently I’ve been thinking about when in my life have I been the happiest?  What was I doing in my life at that time?  What kind of happiness am I synthesizing in my life, and how does that tie into the things I know about the doctrines of eternity? 

I started conducting some field research of my own - asking people of all ages the top three things that make them the happiest.  The most entertaining of answers came from my first grade students: minecraft, pokemon, indoor recess… But even these answers were consistent with the general public, in that all the answers I received fell into 4 categories.  As a general rule, these 4 categories are what make people the happiest:

1.   Taking time to be grateful. 

2.   Doing things that we love.  

3.   Serving others. 

4.   Living the gospel and keeping our covenants.

I will briefly touch on each of these. 

1.   Being grateful.  In Nov. 2012, I heard a talk that changed my life.  It was at a time in my life when I was just existing, surviving… going through some interesting health challenges, and having a hard time finding happiness.  The man speaking told of a challenge he had given himself to write down 3 things each night that he was grateful for, and every week, he wrote a thank you note.  He challenged us to do the same, and promised us that if we did, we would find greater happiness.  It was a simple challenge and a simple promise.  In 2013, I took the challenge, and it’s the most consistent I’ve ever been with any new years resolution.  Every week in 2013, I wrote a thank you note to someone.  Every night, I wrote down 3 things I was grateful for.  And the promise was fulfilled… I was happier.  I was able to find joy in my circumstances.  I believe that we find what we’re looking for, and when I was looking for things to be grateful for, I was a more grateful person and a happier person. 

President Uchtdorf recently gave a talk where he talked about gratitude as a disposition in our lives… a way of life that stands independent from our current situation.  He’s agreeing with Dan Gilbert, just in holier terms.  We can and should choose to be grateful IN our circumstances, rather than being grateful FOR things.  This time of year, we tend to focus on gratitude a little more, which is great, but I testify that having that disposition of gratitude all the time is a refreshing thing because my gratitude challenge of 2013, which I appropriately named “The Pursuit of Happiness”.   

2.   Doing the things that we love.  This includes spending time with family and friends, hobbies, taking time to relax, vacations, cultivating different talents, finding joy in our successes in employment or school.

3.   Serving Others.  When I had just got back from my mission, I was having a hard time adjusting back to the singles ward.  I was called to be a ward missionary and assigned to help a man named Ferny.  Ferny was trying to become active again to stand as a proxy for his dad and seal his parents together.  Ferny was a sponge, and it was exciting to teach him because he was so attentive and ready to learn.  I soon realized that I was coming to church and activities not for myself, but for Ferny – to help him meet people and answer questions he had, to help him make connections.  This experience changed the way I viewed service in the church, and the purpose of church.  Besides partaking the sacrament, I realized that nothing about church was for me, but to give me opportunities to serve other people and bring them closer to Christ.  I am grateful to belong to a church where we are given ample opportunities to serve in capacities that we might not otherwise choose. 

I also recently read an article called “6 Subtle Things Highly Productive People Do Everyday”.  In this article it talked about time management being more about managing feelings than anything else.  It said that highly productive people take time in their week to serve  because it makes them happier, and when they are happier, they accomplish more.

Of course the ultimate example of living a life of service is the life of the Savior, Jesus Christ.  He lived for other people, and lived a happy life.  I am grateful for His example in my life of how to more perfectly serve those that He has placed in my life.  

4.     Living the gospel / keeping covenants.  Elder Corbridge of the 70 once said, “There is only one way to happiness and fulfillment.  Jesus Christ is the way.  Every other way, any other way, whatever other way, is foolishness.”  Of all the things in my life that make me happy, living the principles of the gospel trumps them all.  Because it’s eternal happiness.  Lasting happiness.  Happiness rooted in constant things that never waver or change.

In the Bible Dictionary, we learn that we are given the spirit in this life as a foretaste of the joy that will be ours in the eternities.  I’m so grateful for that spirit and for the joy and peace I feel because of His influence in my life.  I’ve thought before what that kind of eternal joy might feel like.  I don’t think we can comprehend it.  But it makes me excited that those kinds of feelings are in store for us. 

The scriptures are FULL of stories and great verses about finding happiness.  2 Nephi 5:27 - “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.”  Background: Nephites have just separated themselves from the Lamanites.  They are building a temple, living righteously, doing what the Lord wants them to do, learning how to build, working hard to support themselves.  Result: They are blessed with happiness.  Same patterns apply in my life.  Everything about the gospel makes me happy.  I testify that when we are actively pursuing the things of eternity, we are enabled to feel a portion of the eternal joy that will be available to us if we stay faithful and continue to keep our covenants.  This is made possible only through the Atonement and the doctrine of Christ – exercising faith, repenting and changing, being baptized, receiving and using the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us, and enduring to the end, which is really just repeating those steps over and over again.
Elder Scott said, “Your joy in life depends upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His holy Son, your conviction that their plan of happiness truly can bring you joy.”  We have to believe that promise.  We have to choose joy. 

And that is the challenge I’m giving myself, and invite each of you to take as well: to choose joy.  To do the things in your life that make you the happiest.  To take time to be grateful, to serve others, to do the things that you love, and to live the gospel and faithfully keep your covenants.  To construct happiness in your life no matter the situation or circumstance you are in.  I promise that as you do, you will feel a greater measure of the Lord’s love in your life, especially as you turn to Him for the source of your happiness. 

I love this gospel.  I love the Lord.  And say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.