this past sunday, bro. b told us the "secret" to making someone like you. the "secret" to mending broken ties and creating a bond of love where you don't think it could ever exist. he told a story about some difficult years with a son and how he overcame his hatred toward this son. he praised him instead of criticized him. ok, that sounds so simple. but the more he talked and the more i got thinking about my relationships with people - both that i love and that i don't get along with as well, i realized that the people i love most are the ones that give me compliments and cheerlead me, the ones i feel good about myself around.
"words of praise are the legs that the law of charity walks on". that quote has been stuck in my mind for 3 days now. "the primary, most fundamental thing to do to change the world is to focus on the good in others." "force yourself to find the good in the people around you, then VOCALIZE it." "issues with other people are often things you need to change about yourself - after all, you can't change them, but you can change how you see them." "charity is about learning to like people that are difficult to like."
our lives are made up of an infinite amount of relationships. some of the happiest people i know are the ones that refuse to see the bad in other people. i am not like this at all. but i want to be. so, in the past few days, i've been trying really hard to compliment people and only say things to and about people that are uplifting and nice.
it's so much harder than i thought it would be.
but i've noticed especially in my classroom what a difference it's making already. all along, i've tried to be a teacher that focuses on the good in my students and points out great behavior, but let's be honest, there are times when you just have to criticize and redirect. the kids that i'm constantly harping on are the ones i find myself not liking, or dreading to see the next day. i am putting my trust in bro. b's promise that as i look for the good in them and TELL THEM the good that i see (even if the best thing i can see is the proper placement of ONE punctuation mark), that i will soon see them in a new light and learn to love them. this in turn will help me like them more too.
"people change when they feel loved - not when they are chastised or lectured. love the people around you. love them unconditionally and praise them. then, they will change on their own."
it's no wonder charity is the most important attribute we are to cultivate and master here on earth.
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