in my school, my dearly beloved school, there is ONE faculty bathroom. it's located in the most logical place, by the office, in the middle hub of the "u" shape... but for us first grade teachers on the outermost arm of the "u", it can be inconvenient, especially in the middle of the day quick bathroom break.
today i really had to go. we're talking i drank 3 water bottles worth in about 3 hours had to go. i had just dropped my kids off at lunch and didn't really want to make the trek all the way back to the office to use the facilities. so, i used the kid bathroom across the hall from my classroom. it's no big deal, really, i use it all the time after hours because it's more convenient. besides, everyone was at lunch and hadn't had much time at recess to realize they needed to go yet.
every time i walk in, though, i have this fear that a student will be in there. i mean, did you ever see a teacher in the kid bathroom when you were in elementary? not only is it embarrassing, but it's just plain weird. i always think in my head what i will say if i see a kid, like, "oh, is so and so in here? no, ok..." then walk back out. this time was no exception. i was prepared to pull out a line.
but i got in there and no one was there. so i park myself in a stall and start doing my business when to my horror the door opens and not one, not 2, but THREE second graders come in and occupy the stalls next to me. "i hope they don't recognize my shoes" i think to myself.
so i finish up and now I'm in a predicament. my choices are: 1. pretend like this is totally normal and stand up, at which point my head will be cascading over the stall that is meant for 8 year olds 2. cautiously lift my feet above the ground so no one will actually see i'm in there 3. wait until all 3 girls have vacated the premises before i leave.
i decide option #3 is probably my best choice. so i wait. and wait. and wait. one girl leaves. the second leaves. the third doesn't leave foreverrrrrr. and when she gets out of the stall, she looks my way and i realize the space between the stall wall and the door is just big enough to make eye contact. and that's exactly what we did. made eye contact. she giggled and ran outside.
"oh no," i think. she totally saw me and knows that i'm the teacher that used the kid bathroom. cool points down the drain. i was even so self conscious about this that i waited for a good 2 minutes until after she left just in case... then snuck out of the stall and to wash my hands.
when would you know it the door opened again. "miss ence?! what are you doing in here?!" the surprised munchkin exclaimed. after all that practice of a good line, i had no words. so i just ignored her and walked out ha ha ha. slunk back to my classroom.
the poor girl was probably horrified. i still remember the time mrs. johnson used the kid bathroom in second grade and i never went in that stall again. kids are funny that way.
will i use the kid bathroom again? probably. and maybe, just maybe, i'll pull this trick next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment