case closed.

today's dating story is brought to you by the letter g.  g for giraffe, that is.  giraffe meaning that's how i feel sometimes when guys that are clearly much shorter than me ask me out.  does that not bother short boys that their date is a foot taller?! i've spent much of the last decade of my life pondering this question.  and i, ladies and gentleman, finally have an answer. 

to tell this story, i have to admit something embarrassing.  i am once again a tinder user.  now that we got that out of the way... 

last week i matched with someone we'll call jack.  he starts the conversation, "you're really cute, sara".  flattering, i suppose.  me, being the skeptical realist that i am, respond with, "really though, how many girls have you started a conversation with with that line, eh?"  to which he responds, "only the really cute ones."  ok, cheese factor 100, i'm out.  goodbye.

10 minutes later i get a text from a dear friend asking how the tinder scene is going (just got her to join again the few days prior...heh heh).  i respond with the cute little story about the encounter jack and i had just had.  to which she replies that a guy had started a conversation the same way with her.  you know what's coming next... it was the same guy.  (would my life be anything different, come on)

so i just HAD to call him out on it.  i got back on and responded to our friend jack, "you matched with one of my best friends and started the conversation the same way with her."  to which he replied,"oh, you're the only 2 though."  obviously not as embarrassed as i hoped he would be.  i know he's lying because he had to ask which girl was my best friend.  ok.  transparent.  and brazilian.  (no really though, he's from brazil)

my mistake, we start chatting back and forth and through the course of the conversation he finds out that i love the movie the aristocats.  he says (not joking, these are the words he used) "sara, i think we need to watch that movie together and make a memory together."  ok... sure... i have an open evening in...oh wait, never.  

i put off that proposal for a while.  and good thing because things kept getting creepier.  you see, our friend jack here, he's from another country, just lurking to find an american wife to take home ("don't worry, my family will love you, they love tall blonde americans" ...thanks, that's so reassuring...) 

so i ask how tall he is.  5'8.  one inch shorter than me.  doesn't sound like a huge difference, but for me it is.  call it shallow, call it what you may, but that's my number one thing... i need to be with someone significantly taller than me, for my own confidence's sake.  (watch, now that i've posted that i'll marry someone that's 5'0. just my luck)

the next 20 minutes of my life were spent reading message after message to convince me to date a short boy.  my case is closed.  the decade long question has finally been resolved.  again, people, these are real live quotes that came out of this boy's mouth (or i guess fingers, ha ha)

eh-hem.  this is why short guys want to date tall women: 

1. "let's say we're walking down the street and i decide to j-walk.  i can grab your hand and you can keep up with me.  if you had short, stubby legs, you would fall behind, get hit by a car, and die.  since you have long and lanky ones, you'll make it across safely with me."

2. "hand holding is perfect with a tall girl because you're both the same length of arm away from each other."

(can we please keep in mind i've "known" this boy for 45 minutes by this point?!)

3. "then think about kissing.  so nice to kiss a taller girl because my neck doesn't get tired from leaning over."

4. "cuddling is nice too because it can be reciprocated."

5. "and think about our children..."

gag.  i don't want to think about our children.  i don't want to even think about my own children, let alone children with you, brazilian stranger whom i've exchanged meaningless tinder messages with for 50 minutes.   safe to say i stopped responding.  but he. kept. sending. messages.

the next day, he messages me in the middle of the day asking if anything is wrong and why i haven't responded and if his reasons were logical.  so i just told him, "ya know i'm looking for someone significantly taller than me, sorry.  good luck with everything!"  and blocked him (one thing i like about tinder, easy out!) 

not 5 minutes later, my friend texted me and asked what went down with jack... because he messaged her and asked her what was wrong and why i was being weird and telling her he thought we had such great chemistry, etc.  bleck. 

i already knew tinder was full of a significant amount of creepers... but this was my first encounter with one.  thank goodness for that block button... and thank goodness that jack solved the mystery of why short boys like tall girls

...just think about our children... 
 

ghost in the stalls

in my school, my dearly beloved school, there is ONE faculty bathroom.  it's located in the most logical place, by the office, in the middle hub of the "u" shape... but for us first grade teachers on the outermost arm of the "u", it can be inconvenient, especially in the middle of the day quick bathroom break. 

today i really had to go.  we're talking i drank 3 water bottles worth in about 3 hours had to go.  i had just dropped my kids off at lunch and didn't really want to make the trek all the way back to the office to use the facilities.  so, i used the kid bathroom across the hall from my classroom.  it's no big deal, really, i use it all the time after hours because it's more convenient.  besides, everyone was at lunch and hadn't had much time at recess to realize they needed to go yet. 

every time i walk in, though, i have this fear that a student will be in there.  i mean, did you ever see a teacher in the kid bathroom when you were in elementary?  not only is it embarrassing, but it's just plain weird.  i always think in my head what i will say if i see a kid, like, "oh, is so and so in here?  no, ok..." then walk back out.  this time was no exception.  i was prepared to pull out a line. 

but i got in there and no one was there.  so i park myself in a stall and start doing my business when to my horror the door opens and not one, not 2, but THREE second graders come in and occupy the stalls next to me.  "i hope they don't recognize my shoes" i think to myself. 

so i finish up and now I'm in a predicament.  my choices are: 1. pretend like this is totally normal and stand up, at which point my head will be cascading over the stall that is meant for 8 year olds 2. cautiously lift my feet above the ground so no one will actually see i'm in there  3. wait until all 3 girls have vacated the premises before i leave. 

i decide option #3 is probably my best choice.  so i wait.  and wait.  and wait.  one girl leaves.  the second leaves.  the third doesn't leave foreverrrrrr.  and when she gets out of the stall,  she looks my way and i realize the space between the stall wall and the door is just big enough to make eye contact.  and that's exactly what we did.  made eye contact.  she giggled and ran outside. 

"oh no," i think.  she totally saw me and knows that i'm the teacher that used the kid bathroom.  cool points down the drain.  i was even so self conscious about this that i waited for a good 2 minutes until after she left just in case... then snuck out of the stall and to wash my hands. 

when would you know it the door opened again.  "miss ence?!  what are you doing in here?!"  the surprised munchkin exclaimed.  after all that practice of a good line, i had no words.  so i just ignored her and walked out ha ha ha.  slunk back to my classroom. 

the poor girl was probably horrified.  i still remember the time mrs. johnson used the kid bathroom in second grade and i never went in that stall again.  kids are funny that way. 

will i use the kid bathroom again?  probably.  and maybe, just maybe, i'll pull this trick next time.

the world is TOO small

remember the summer before my mission when i dated that darlingly perfect boy and thought about staying home to marry him, but went on my mission instead, and he only lasted 5 months then dear janed me? 

i won't say i'm still bitter about it, because i'm not.  but something about seeing his family, or hearing about his family, just tugs at my heart strings.  and i'll be honest, it makes me feel a little bit awkward. 

like the time when i was student teaching at oakridge and his little brother was in my class.  or the time we went on a 5th grade fieldtrip and his mom was the substitute for our teacher that day.  and how she couldn't stop talking about her now happily married son.  or the time i ran into the whole family, he and his wife included, at the mormon tab choir concert, then again at the lights on temple square, then again in the lion house bakery.  i mean, really.  or the time... ok you get the idea. 

i have the cutest visiting teaching companion in the universe, and she's become a really good friend recently.  she's 18 and i'm 24, but that's fine.  hah.  the other day we were deep in boy conversation when she revealed that her brother's best friend gets home from his mission this week (last saturday) and how nervous/excited/clueless about it she was feeling.  she's had a crush on said boy for years and, well, of course wants something to happen.  as the story went on, the details got jucier and i got giddy for her, devising an action plan and figuring out the play-by-play of their reconnection.  it's just too perfect not to work out. 

of course being girls, we immediately start wedding planning and saying how perfect it will be because of their family's incessant jokes about them getting married, the best friend marrying the little sister idea, his flirting all these years, how beautiful of a couple they would make, etc. 

then, it comes to light that the boy this girl and i have been talking about for quite some time now is none other than my pre-mission fling's little brother.  

really though, sometimes the world is just way too small.  especially when you're mormon.  

my liiiiiiiiife.  

praise and charity

my favorite kinds of church talks are ones where there are specific suggestions given that i can take and use that very day.  for example, saying "writing one thing in your journal every night that you are grateful for will increase your gratitude to the Lord" is much more meaningful to me than "look for the hand of the Lord in your life". 

this past sunday, bro. b told us the "secret" to making someone like you.  the "secret" to mending broken ties and creating a bond of love where you don't think it could ever exist.  he told a story about some difficult years with a son and how he overcame his hatred toward this son.  he praised him instead of criticized him.  ok, that sounds so simple.  but the more he talked and the more i got thinking about my relationships with people - both that i love and that i don't get along with as well, i realized that the people i love most are the ones that give me compliments and cheerlead me, the ones i feel good about myself around. 

"words of praise are the legs that the law of charity walks on".  that quote has been stuck in my mind for 3 days now.  "the primary, most fundamental thing to do to change the world is to focus on the good in others."  "force yourself to find the good in the people around you, then VOCALIZE it."  "issues with other people are often things you need to change about yourself - after all, you can't change them, but you can change how you see them."  "charity is about learning to like people that are difficult to like."

our lives are made up of an infinite amount of relationships.  some of the happiest people i know are the ones that refuse to see the bad in other people.  i am not like this at all.  but i want to be.  so, in the past few days, i've been trying really hard to compliment people and only say things to and about people that are uplifting and nice.   

it's so much harder than i thought it would be.  

but i've noticed especially in my classroom what a difference it's making already.  all along, i've tried to be a teacher that focuses on the good in my students and points out great behavior, but let's be honest, there are times when you just have to criticize and redirect.  the kids that i'm constantly harping on are the ones i find myself not liking, or dreading to see the next day.  i am putting my trust in bro. b's promise that as i look for the good in them and TELL THEM the good that i see (even if the best thing i can see is the proper placement of ONE punctuation mark), that i will soon see them in a new light and learn to love them.  this in turn will help me like them more too.   

"people change when they feel loved - not when they are chastised or lectured.  love the people around you.  love them unconditionally and praise them.  then, they will change on their own." 

it's no wonder charity is the most important attribute we are to cultivate and master here on earth. 

webmd doom and gloom

diagnosing your illnesses through WebMD is never a good idea.  

i always leave feeling like i have every major illness....

the wide range of options it comes up with after a few symptoms - 

"possible illnesses: viral infection, strep throat, laryngeal cancer"

well that escalated quickly.... 

today i was using the WebMD app and clicking on a few symptoms. 

one of them i clicked on came up with a pop-up that said
"close this app and seek medical attention immediately!" 

welp, didn't do that.  just took my temperature instead.  

95.6.  so... either the thermometer is broken or i'm dying. 

i'm pretty sure my immune system will be stellar after
this first teaching year. it has got to be, right?!! 

just a small thought for this february day

so often we resent the very things that are meant to draw us closer to the Savior.  with a greater perspective and understanding of the Lord's plan for me personally, i find that i am able to combat life's challenges with a more positive attitude and look for the ways God has not forgotten me, rather than dwelling on the reasons it may seem He has.