anticipation

"missing someone gets easier with time”

believable until tested.

In principle, a reality she reached out to grab,

but in front of her, only memories

bound so tightly to her heart they slowed its uneven beating.

memories that tied the world to her fingertips

with spontaneous giggles or thoughtful smiles.

trapped in a daydream, the world played on.

pushing pause, back to empty reality,

that dream mocked to death by time itself.

a pile of days since she’d seen him

crawled toward the next time she would.

cold, fearful, and shivering, her heart wrung dry,

eyes blue, deep, and alone.

her mask of pretending worn out,

not from pretending she was okay

when unexpected friends asked,

but from pretending her heart wasn’t battered

when assumed “friends” left her hanging on a harsh limb

to fight for life as their busy lives inched on.

so oblivious, how could they understand?

but a greater power knew, knows.

clinging to that power with all her strength,

a glimmer of hope found that one day

things would be the way they were,

but pleasantly different.

determined, her once functional heart pounds

in perfect time with the ever-ticking clock

of anticipation.