argyle in spring: September 2009

9.29.2009

under deliverance, over power. bah.

so one thing they teach at LEAP is

"under promise, over deliver".

copying genius, i added this tag line

to my e-mail signature to remind me

the motto that i need to adopt more.

hannah and i e-mail a lot when i am away.

she always asks about the motto, and i explained

it to her the other week. today i got an e-mail

from her that said, "love, hannah.

'under deliverance, over power'"

HA HA HA. something like that, hannah.

something like that. :)

9.28.2009

miesh photography

i really like photography-stalking people.
photo blogs are the greatest.
this girl takes some of the most stunning portraits
i've ever seen in my life. and, i know her.
the infamous michelle taylor! aka { miesh }
check her stuff out. i am nothing short of obsessed.i describe them as charming, which is a good word in my book. she will take my wedding shots.
http://mieshphotography.blogspot.com/

9.27.2009

sara has no h. ever.

one of my biggest pet peeves is when

people spell my name with an h.

sara is spelled without an h. always.

one day i decided to look up all the songs with me in them.

so i did. and found one by travis, starship, boyz II men,

tyler kyte, fleetwood mac, ben folds, death cab, eskimo joe.

uno problemo. they all had an h on the end. booo.

so, to remedy the situation i erased all the h's

and now they are happily stored in my ipod

under the correct name. sara. sara smile.

once my mom taught first grade and knew a girl named

sara, with no h on the end. as the saying, goes, the rest

was history. once at the inclusion center seminar

maria asked me if i was jewish because apparently jewish

people don't spell their names with h's at the end.

cool. so next time you spell my name, get it right.

sara with no h, ence, like fence without the f.

that's sara ence to you.

good looks like

"nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep

on happening. maybe that's because it's all a chain and a

long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that

led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on.

you know, like that game where you whisper a sentence

into someone's ear and that person whispers

it to someone else, and it all comes

out wrong in the end.

maybe bad things happen because it's the only

way we can keep remembering

what good is supposed to look like…"

--19 minutes

9.25.2009

19

"she stood up carefully,

because that is how it's best

to move in a world where

you no longer fit."

9.24.2009

the staple

we went to the new walmart tonight.

whitney was right, it's like entering another country.

and unlike any walmart i've ever been in before!

the foliage is excellent, the blue bluer than normal.

i was never a fan of walmart back home, it's scary there.

here though, it's a staple of life. a true college definer.

i'm a huge fan of the new walmart. a huuuge fan.

oh walmart. someday i will write an ode to you.

9.23.2009

pb& jail

yesterday in my literacy instruction class

we spent an hour learning how to make a

peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"peanut butter is like reading," our instructor insisted.

yeah right. really people? i'm not the biggest fan of that class.

maybe tomorrow we'll learn about brushing our teeth.

deleted.

i did something brave tonight.

i deleted them all.

i've been holding on for way too long.

reading them all last night and sending

them to him was too much.

(his request)

it's been done for years.

and i finally got the courage to get rid of them

once and for all. the purpose of holding on

has been filled. now i can really move on.

it might've taken 3 years, but it feels SO nice.

inspired by melissa k, deleting, throwing away

does something to you.

LEAP junk page wasn't a lie.

LEAP natural laws aren't a lie either.

there's just something about taking everything

bottled up inside you and purging it.

throwing it away, deleting it, writing it down

then burning it.

man. i feel good.

time for new memories.

9.21.2009

6.5 minutes

ya know those steamed vegetable bags

that are all the rage these days?

tonight i was cooking one.

word to the wise:

when they say don't overcook,

they aren't kidding.

there i was, doing homework,

when POP.

it blew up.

what a mess.

oh the life lessons college teaches you.

?

apparently i fell asleep texting last night.

whit took a picture.

i might have snored a bit too.

funny.

too bad i can't make fun of

tatum falling asleep with

her laptop anymore.

haaa.

single-ly silent.

so this morning i'm walking home from class.

in front of me i all the sudden realize there are a lot of people

in nothing short of a extremely single file line.

all about 3 feet apart. all on cell phones.

i counted. 10 people! 10 people in a single file line.

silent. 3 on ipods, all on cell phones. 10 people.

all coming from the same place, all going the same place.

in a single file line. all on cell phones. no words.

900 north came. 5 went north, 4 turned west.

still in a single file line. still on cell phones.

i might've broken the silence and started talking

to the caboose, but it was too funny.

too funny to break the silent, single file line.

ps fire drill at edith bowen today.

everyone out in 2 minutes flat. go us.

9.20.2009

twinslow

tatum takes facebook quizzes.

and plays maffia wars.
and is whit's twin ?

and puts scandalous things in the wash.

and sleeps with the lights on. in her shoes.

and drives arnez.

and takes over all the couches with her stuff.
and tells liz to get off facebook and focus.
she needs a man with rhythm, apparently.
and just went to the "library".

we love her. so much.

what would life be without tatum?

completely boring.

parkour, extreme

i'm SO glad the office is back!

"- i learned that a ream of paper has 300 sheets.
- i thought it was 500. - oh, so i guess i didn't
learn anything."

9.18.2009

hey, i'm sara.

yesterday i attended an inclusion workshop

put on by the inclusion center for community justice.

we wore name tags.

afterwards, lindsey, whit, and i walked to our next class.

10 minutes away. i smiled at people like i usually do.

when we got to the glass doors i realized i'd been wearing

my name tag the whole walk. it was big too.

in the middle of my chest. not even to the side.

i felt cool. too bad linds didn't tell me it was there.

hey world, my name is sara!

9.15.2009

absence

"sometimes
the absence
of trial
is the
greatest
trial
of all...
because
then
how
do you
grow?"

9.14.2009

rain

i walked home in the rain today.

pouring rain.

barefoot.

life couldn't be better.

fall mornings

i've said it before but i am in love with fall mornings in logan.
crisp enough that it feels like a new day, but not too cold.
like long pants and a light jacket days.
by the afternoon it gets warm, and i love that too.
fall nights are absolute heaven, especially when the moon
stunningly shines over the mountains.

i've decided i really like being a morning person.
all this waking up at crack of dawn for elementary school
has got me in the habit, and who knew i would enjoy it so much?
reminds me of a younger and more self-determined me, haa.
early to bed and early to rise really does make you feel
healthy, wealthy, and wise. (imagine that...)

"every hour before 1:00 PM = 2 hours after 1:00 PM."
leap doesn't lie.

ps it's pouring rain outside and i am in utter bliss.

9.13.2009

chart topper

not gonna lie this wasn't the best week of my life.

everything seemed to go wrong all at the same time.

but things work out and my life is full of tender mercies!

this weekend was a chart topper. where to begin. . . ?

some highlights:

i got to talk to the amazing annie on friday afternoon.

this girl is the best front row friend i could ask for.

i love her and her encouraging words and calming influence,

among maaaany other things. she is one-of-a-kind.

alex, griffin, and katie came up to visit me.

i needed that more than they knew.

cali came along too. cali is one of those people

you meet and instantly know you are going to be really really

good friends. i've only known her for 3 weeks but love

her to death already. she makes me want to be a better person.

i miss katie so much up here. i don't want to sound cliche, but honestly

logan isn't the same without her. distance is no bueno.

and being at college brings lots of distance. so i'm glad she came up.

and when she said she might be transferring back my heart leapt :]

i participated in my first american festival chorus concert.

a september 11th commemoration concert in the tabernacle.

craig jessop is fantastic and we were honored to have

clay christiansen with us.though the speeches were a little strange,

the music was amazing.i don't deserve to be in that choir.

but i am so glad i am.it's more work than i ever thought

singing was allowed to be,

but totally worth it. and i love that.

alex is one of the most phenomenal young men i've ever known.

i'm amazed he still puts up with me after so many years.

it's crazy to think an efy friendship would last this long and

still be this deep. we talked about that on friday. what are the chances?

it blows my mind. i missed our deep life talks SO much.

that was remedied friday :] we talked about that too.

we got so close because we dated each other's best friends.

if nothing else, the good that came from those relationships

are that alex and i are friends now. and sadly (?)

the truth has come out. he knows how i feel.

and though things are mostly still completely

unknown, i don't mind. maybe i wish i would've been braver,

especially because he was ready. but i also know things work out

when and if they're supposed to, this no exception.

i will always be glad for alex doxey's friendship.

while griffin slept, friday night with alex flew. but i loved it.

every single minute. and seeing him tonight, though fast,

completed the weekend. ( wow, don't be creeped out by that, alex )

i experienced tummi yummi for the first time saturday.

it was delicious and my favorite part was the toilets

which you can choose to pee on the Y, the U, or Weber.

i love utah state. a lot.

today i went to provo to sing in the ces fireside.

though six hours on a children's school bus wasn't the highlight

of my life, i'm so grateful for the experience i had in the

marriott center tonight. the spirit was so strong and my

testimony grew in so many ways. sister dalton's talk was just

what em and i have been discussing so much lately.

a true answer to prayers, just the reminders i needed.

and all the preparation for the choir, spiritually and musically,

paid off. the discussions on the bus before were wonderful.

i am blessed to belong to a school with such a strong institute program.

the atonement is real and powerful. it is deep and tangible.

it is individualized and all-pervading.

i l o v e t h a t .

it's pouring rain right now. i love the rain with everything in me.

it is my favorite weather by far. the smell is coming

in through my windows, the heavy water on the roof is loud

and completely soothing.

seeing jen tonight made me miss her even more than

i already did, but i'm so glad we got to spend

time together. another best friend on the front row, sometimes i

wonder how i got so lucky? can't wait to head down again in 2 weeks.

be ready jen, he he.

ems and i have had great letters lately. i discover so much

about myself through talking to her. we can't understand how

two people can be so similar, think exactly the same things at the

same time and feel the same way about nearly everything.

though i didn't get to see her tonight,

i've appreciated her letters this week more than ever.

can't wait to start our book, em!

it's weekends like these that remind me why i really do love college.

i'm really good at forgetting that sometimes.

. . . what a chart topper weekend. . .

9.09.2009

marvel

we're singing this song for the ces fireside on sunday.

it has been stuck in my head all week, and i love that.

it is moving. i can't wait for the world to hear it.

"i marvel at the miracle of God's great love for me

i try, but cannot comprehend, and ask how this could be?

for i had left behind my God and lost my way through sin.

still God loved me and sent His Son to lead me back to Him.

i pled with God to shed His grace and take away my sin

He did, and yet i turned away and stumbled once again.

at last i knelt before His throne and offered Him my soul.

He wept, then gave it back to me, renewed and washed and whole.

for all i pray, my debt remains for God's great gift to me."

9.07.2009

lead kindly

lead kindly, Light,
amid the encircling gloom.

9.04.2009

anticipation

"missing someone gets easier with time”

believable until tested.

In principle, a reality she reached out to grab,

but in front of her, only memories

bound so tightly to her heart they slowed its uneven beating.

memories that tied the world to her fingertips

with spontaneous giggles or thoughtful smiles.

trapped in a daydream, the world played on.

pushing pause, back to empty reality,

that dream mocked to death by time itself.

a pile of days since she’d seen him

crawled toward the next time she would.

cold, fearful, and shivering, her heart wrung dry,

eyes blue, deep, and alone.

her mask of pretending worn out,

not from pretending she was okay

when unexpected friends asked,

but from pretending her heart wasn’t battered

when assumed “friends” left her hanging on a harsh limb

to fight for life as their busy lives inched on.

so oblivious, how could they understand?

but a greater power knew, knows.

clinging to that power with all her strength,

a glimmer of hope found that one day

things would be the way they were,

but pleasantly different.

determined, her once functional heart pounds

in perfect time with the ever-ticking clock

of anticipation.

9.03.2009

completely imperfect

one of my favorite things about life is that
we are imperfect people trying to live the perfect gospel;

loving imperfect others completely, without a
complete understanding of them. that's possible.

"in the end, it's these small things that you remember.
the little imperfections that make someone truly perfect to you."

9.02.2009

my sister will be suspicious

remember that one time we sang together?
we thought last year was our one-hit wonder,
you with your michael, me with my norah,
but this was fun. good thing we have dr. bill, right?
baby, it really is cold outside. . .
miss you, sir alex! : )

9.01.2009

date the homely

[it's september!]

2:36 pm: rode the bus to school.

usually a quiet occasion, friends in subdued conversation,

but the majority silent, staring into the distance

or out the window, pretending not to be eavesdropping,

or lost deep in meaningless thoughs.

today i sat glued to my book "the servant"

(which by the way i finished today! ahhmazing)

when the man next to me yells,

"how are we all doing today?"

i jump, turn to look at him, then smile.

his scruffy white beard complements the stringy

white, greasy hair. glasses on the end of his nose,

fingernails caked with dirt and hangnails.

tupperware of pasta in one hand, statesman in the other,

he chuckles with his shaking belly as he poses another question,

"who went on a date this friday?" then, before waiting for a reply,

"don't worry. because next friday is date the homely day.

every single one of you could qualify for that.

*chuckle chuckle chuckle* "

no response from the bus-riders.

luckily we got off soon as he said,

"have a great day, silent ones"

what a kook. but, i applaud his boldness.

maybe i'll get a date for national date the homely day.