goodbye

"she loves her momma's lemonade,
hates the sound that goodbye's make."

i've decided i'm really bad at goodbye's.
and i mean really bad.it's one thing i dread above all else in the world. so when it comes time to say goodbyei always end up saying something stupid to make me feel better, like "we'll be in touch" or "maybe i'll see you before i go"whether or not i believe it, it's something good to sayto make me feel like this isn't really goodbye, just see you later,and really see you later.
after goodbyes i spend the next however longthinking about the goodbye, how sad it is that i won't see themfor so long, and imagining how unbearable the next while will be until i do see them again.
some goodbye's are easier than others. two of my hardest: last day of LEAP. never knowing if you'll see certain students again.february 18, 2008. michael g left. can't see him for 2 years.
people come and go, leave for school, come back from school,leave on missions, come back from missions, go on vacations, come back from vacations, disappear for a while."they came, lost each other, searched for each other, found each other a few feet away"... this passage from a book i read once describes my feeling about goodbyes tonight. no matter how you lose someone, how often you say goodbye, there's always some way you can find them again. and that hope that it's not the end, just a temporary separationis what keeps me saying goodbye time and time again.
"missing someone gets easier with time because even thoughyou're one day further from the last time you saw them, you're just one day closer to the next time you will." i believe it. so, until next time, let's count the days closer.