i've been surprised at the amount of animosity towards new year's resolutions i've seen this year. yes, animosity. they've become a joke. a big, ugly, stare-you-in-the-face joke! anyone that brings them up has this lackadaisical attitude that even if you set them, you'll never achieve them. well, of course you won't... not with an attitude like that! but really, i kid you not, these are things i've heard people say when i've asked them the question, "what are your resolutions this year?"
- "psh... who makes resolutions anymore..."
- "yeah... haven't thought about that yet." (follow up question - do you plan to think about it?) -"nah, i don't need resolutions, my life is going just fine."
- "i'm not planning to do anything exciting this year, so a resolution would be a waste of my time."
- "whenever i make resolutions, i break them the next week, so what's the point?"
- "i've never been a goal setter."
- "i've never kept one of my resolutions, i gave up on that a long time ago."
- "i don't need goals to be successful."
WHAT.
maybe it's just because i've grown up in a franklin covey principle-based home and been totally indoctrinated from LEAP about the importance of goal setting, but i was blown away with the overwhelming response of not caring about goals for the new year!! i'm not trying to sound judgmental here, mostly i write that to say how surprised i was that more people don't set goals in their lives and don't have things they are working toward.
did you know that only 4% of the earth's population 1. has goals 2. has those goals written down 3. carries those goals with them everywhere they go 4. reads their goals everyday...? a measly 4%. and that 4% of the population outperforms the other 96% combined. easily. it's important to have goals, people!
in my life, i recognize the importance of having goals that are specific, measurable, time-sensitive, realistic, etc... and i do have quite a few of those. but this year, i wanted to break the traditional lame attitude about new year's resolutions and really set some goals that would be meaningful to me. so. i went with 3 broad broad goals. 18 days in, i can already tell 2014 is going to be fantastic because of my specific focus on these 3 things.
1. be present. i always recognized that having a cell phone out when you're around other people wasn't polite, but i always do it anyway. i hesitantly announce to the viral world that i'm addicted to my phone. when someone texts me, i have to read it right away. when my phone isn't on me, i feel lost. i have to check social media multiple times a day. PATHETIC. this is so pathetic and i can't believe i'm admitting this to the world, but in an effort to work on my resolution #2, there ya go. i had a friend come visit me a few months back. we hadn't seen each other in years, and it was a glorious reunion. i was disappointed after the weekend was over, however, to realize that probably 80% of the time we were together, one of us was on our phones. this was a much needed reminder that the people you are with are the ones you need to be with, and they deserve your presence 100%. any text or google search or phone call shouldn't take precedence over that. then i read this article - "why i'm getting a divorce in 2014" and it really touched me! i need to divorce my phone too, and make the people i'm with the important ones. this is so hard for me! so if you're reading this, you can help keep me accountable.
2. be honest. in the past year and a half of my life, i've learned a lot about the power of vulnerability (thanks to a little prodding thought by becca cunliffe in october 2012!) growing up in a home where we don't talk much about our problems, and being a relatively private person all along, being vulnerable is really, really hard for me. but my quest to be more vulnerable in 2013 has changed my outlook on relationships and my role as a supporting character in everyone's lives that i come in contact with. and i can say that in 2013, as i've opened up, i've been happier. my understanding of the importance of connections in relationships has grown, and i have found new meaning in trusting people. this quest to be more vulnerable has simultaneously taught me the value of being honest. honest with myself - knowing when to say no, knowing my limits, speaking up and standing up for myself. honest with others - saying how i truly feel and working through things that need to be worked through, giving sincere compliments, and saying what i'm thinking. sometimes i find a tricky balance between being too blunt and being honest, but that's why this is a resolution... i'm working on it :) and being honest with God - repenting of things that need to be repented of, recognizing that i'm not, nor will ever be perfect, and really just opening up and talking to Him about everything. another goal of 2013 was to work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and that has been a huge blessing in my life. i never thought it would be hard to be honest with God, because He knows everything already. but, it's so so important and refreshing.
3. be happy. this sounds so cliche, but i'm enjoying finding happiness in everyday. there are so many good things in my life right now, so many reasons to be happy! in my pursuit of #1 and #2, i've already found that i am happier overall. "men are that they might have joy!" my mom's ultimate motto is "enjoy the journey". happiness is a choice!
i find that when i set a broad focus for my year, it makes it easier to set weekly, more specific goals throughout the year to accomplish those. so. what are your resolutions? what are you going to do to make 2014 the best year yet??
keep me accountable, k?
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