department saleswoman

today hannah and i went to macy's to buy a necessary girl item. we walked in and started looking around, when approached by this lady who looked perfectly american, but talked like an asian. "i help you?" she says. "oh, just looking, thanks," i reply. so she walks over to hannah and starts examining her, "you must be 38B". hannah blushes. "hmmm. maidenform. maidenform you." she walks over to a display and starts shoving things into hannah's hands, who is still blushing. "you like lace? you need lace. make you prettier." if that wasn't an insult, i don't know what it was. then, shooing her away, "go try on and see if good... go go!" hannah leaves, leaving me. crazy woman approaches me. scans me over: tells me my size. starts doing the same, shoving things into my hands. things i did not ask her to shove there. after i come back from the dressing room, saying it was too big, she says quite loudly, "oh no, no, there was gap? how big? did you remember to scoop and lift?" i give her a kind of puzzled look, like, did she honestly just ask me that? really? to my disbelief, when i don't reply, she goes on, "you know, scoop and lift, scooooop and liiiiift," accompanying the words the second time with the motion. wow. didn't want to see that today. wow. then she moves on, happily holds up a ridiculous leopard print skanky one and says, "you want to look sexy for ze boys? you wear zis." holds it up to me. awkward. i say, oh, no thanks. no boys will be seeing this. just me. she continues, "oh no, no, no. you pretty wooman, must be sexy for ze boys." i refuse again, saying what i have in my hands will be just fine. each time we emerged from the dressing room, there she was asking how it fit, how we looked, etc. totally weird. it must've been a slow day in the department store. anyyyyway. we finally decide it's time to check out, mostly because we were sick of being followed around. and this lady was a little bit creepy. on the way to the register she started babbling along about some story, but i couldn't really understand any of it, nor did i really want to. we got to the register and she tried to explain to me what she was doing to give us a discount, ended up ringing the two orders up separately, because apparently it would save us money? i dunno... i don't trust that whippersnapper, not for one minute. apparently she gave us a discount, i didn't want to stick around long enough for any more of an explanation. she kept explaining the card situation many times and still with a puzzled look on my face i said goodbye and ran out of there as fast as possible. WOW. never had a shopping trip like that before. and, i never want one like that again. ever. never ever.