but one day it will be ok, right?

i went to a tri-stake event the other night at the bees game.  it was easily the worst night i've had in a long time.  i was in great spirits when i showed up, but absolutely miserable when i left.  there were redeeming moments, but overall, everything about attending a mormon singles event played out right in front of my face and reminded me how much it stinks starting back at square one in the dating game.  

at a singles event, you find many types of men:


- the too-cool-for-their-own-good ones that know they're good looking and crowd surf all night flirting with anything that has long hair and two legs

- the nerdy ones that stick with their roommate on a row all by themselves and wait to be approached, but when they are approached, can't carry on a conversation yet somehow figure out a way to ask for your number anyway

- the overly confident ones that say things like "you have gorgeous eyes, we should date" or "you're so attractive, we should be together".  didn't know having pretty eyes was an indication that we would make a good couple...? 

- the awkwardly forward ones that ask for your last name just so they can facebook stalk you, and openly admit that they are going to facebook stalk you.  i know we all do it, but there's an unwritten rule somewhere about admitting that out loud to the person you are doing it to, right?  (there should be...)

- the group from your own ward that you hardly talk with until you're at a stake event and suddenly you're best friends?  it's a comfort thing, i guess.

- that clingy one that seems to always find you no matter where you are or how much you try to avoid him

- the ones that you wish would pay attention to you but you can't quite figure out how to make that happen

- the completely decent and respectable ones that you love talking to and make a great night even better (i would prefer for my night to be full of interactions with these men.)  


and then, oh then... there are the previous love interests.  i've decided that when you are avoiding more people than not at an event, that's a good indication it's time to move to a new ward.  ha!  (my problem, not theirs...)

- there's the type that ignore you all together and act like you never knew each other (dude, we kissed 3 months ago, can we at least say hi...?)

- the type that pretends to ignore you but you keeps making awkward eye contact all night

- the type that ignores you all night then texts you after the event is over to see how you're doing

- the type that overly exaggerates how much fun he's having with the new girl draped in his arms 

- the type that keeps loudly standing up to make sure you know where he is at at all times

- the type that comes up to hug you and chat like nothing ever went wrong

- the type that comes up to make a scene like you're long lost best friends when it was the worst breakup in the history of ever and in real life you never want to see him again

- the type that broke up with you 36 hours previous and doesn't know how to act around you

-  the type that's married with a kid and living in another state, but you of course run into his favorite cousin who can't quite place how she knows you.  when she figures it out, she proceeds to tell you the full update about how great he's doing and how happy he is, not realizing you're the girl he wrote off

- the type you tried so hard for 6 months to date but he never had the decency to say he wasn't interested

- the type that tried so hard to date you for 6 months and you never had the decency to say you weren't interested

- the roommates and friends of all the above who sometimes don't know how to act and sometimes are just fine

- the type that have moved on and past the awkward post-break-up phase and can carry on a normal, healthy conversation with you (i would prefer for my night to be full of interactions with these men as well)

*sigh*.  i am back in this game we call dating and monday happened to be a night where i ran into every single of the aforementioned types. 

no conclusion necessary. end rant.  

because of my faith

a few conferences ago, bishop edgley gave a talk entitled "faith - the choice is yours".   during this talk, he made a list of a few things he did in his life as a result of his faith.  when i was serving as a missionary in calgary, canada, i read this talk one morning and was struck by the profound nature of his list.  i decided to do the same thing.  i came across this list this morning.  written december 10, 2010.  it made me smile to think back on the experiences that had led me to that point in my life, and also think about some of these points that i haven't been as diligent about lately.  here is that list: 

because of my faith:
- i have heeded the call to serve a full-time mission in canada for the Lord for 18 months of my life
- i pray with the hope that i will receive an answer in the Lord's time
- i have made sacred covenants with the Lord in His holy temple
- my back was completely healed in 2 weeks rather than 8 after my bad fall
- i gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the book of mormon
- i sent missionaries to visit my best friend then sent her a book or mormon
- i bear my testimony with confidence, power, and conviction everyday
- i trust that the Lord is making me who He wants me to be
- the promises in my patriarchal blessing are being fulfilled daily
- i left a piano performance scholarship and major to pursue elementary education
- i pray every morning with assurance that i'm being heard
- i follow the traditions of my parents and how they raised me
- i pray for experiences to grow and lean everyday
- i fast, because it is a commandment, even though i hate it
- i am becoming comfortable with who i am and who i can become
- i sat down at the piano again after a year of resentment
- i made it through my first transfer as a missionary with a tough companion
- i read my scriptures daily and attend church every week
- i honor my parents and trust that they won't lead me astray
- i perform temple work for those that have passed on
- i remain worthy to hold a recommend
- i focus on things i can change, and seek to do so
- i've made the promise and commitment to never lose my faith
- my testimony grows every single day, especially when i share it
- i know i will live with my family forever
- i access and use the atonement to change and improve
- i have been able to forgive people who have deeply hurt me
- i look forward to the future and try to enjoy the present
- i strive to keep an eternal perspective and trust in the Lord
- i accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and Redeemer
- i take the sacrament each week and renew my baptismal covenant with the Lord
- i try to do everything i am asked to do, even when i don't understand the reasons why
- i set goals and consistently try to improve myself
- i receive answers to my prayers and act on those answers

there are many points i could add onto that list today.  in reality, every single thing that happens in my life is somehow tied back to my faith.  the best place to ground our faith is in our Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is the rock.  He is the way.  He is the faith.