how can we make it when you're walking away?

i'm kind of in love with christmas.  i feel like i'm rediscovering it this year, and i love that.

ugly sweater partay tonight for ysa.  i borrowed one, which i'm sure hadn't seen daylight since 20 years ago at least... it smelled like moth balls, and i don't even know what those smell like.

whobilation was a success.  love that family tradition.

i hate facebook.  and some of the things people say on there.

i didn't take my chocolate countdown to christmas calendar to logan, so now i get to eat at least 2 a day.  mm.

i discovered some jon mclaughlin songs i haven't ever heard before.  this is better than early christmas!!  my husband WILL play piano.  and sing.  i'm charmed.  

finally finished unpacking and reorganizing everything in my room.  that was a chore and a half, let me tell you.  the room's got a new look though, and i did some serious dejunking!

in love with little ruby marie.  she was so attentive and happy last night :)

the more i learn about this connecticut shooting, the more my heart hurts.  i've cried more in the past few days than i'd like to admit.

met my new first grade class today. they are DARLING.  i can't wait for january!!

that being said, i actually CAN wait for january.  this christmas break is definitely needed.  definitely needed.  it's great to wake up and have absolutely nothing to do.  bliss!

i needed to read this today when i came across it: "just because you miss someone doesn't mean you need them back in your life.  missing is just a part of moving on."

gonna miss this place and everything that went with it:

p.s.

p.s. i FREAKING need to sell my contract.  aaaaah.

let it be told, let it be written.

sad to be ending my fifth grade practicum experience at adams elementary.  i've grown quite attached to these little ones!  the other day we were practicing for the christmas program, which is tomorrow.  at the end of "we wish you a merry christmas", all the kidlets are supposed to shout "happy holidays!"  and nothing more.  during song practice, this one kid couldn't get that into his head.  after happy holidays the first time he said, "and a happy new year!"  the teacher was upset and made them practice the whole song again, with the "happy holidays" at the end.  again, at the end, he said, "happy holidays... from adams elementary!"  the teacher wanted to be furious, but just chuckled it off.  he's pretty cute anyway.

later that day i was helping the same kid with math.  he's struggling with place value for decimals.  we've been trying for weeks to get it through his head, and just can't seem to help it stick.  as i sat at the table with him, suddenly it hit me: football.  in my limited football knowledge, i related all the place values to positions in football.  we talked about how the quarterback will always be the quarter back, and he will always stand behind the center to get the snap when the ball is in play.  We talked about how the ones place will always be on the left side of the decimal.  how the number in the ones place is just like the quarterback.  about five minutes later we were again looking at a number problem.  i pointed to the number 7, in the ones place and asked, what place is this in.  he shouted "quarterback!"  ha ha... close... at least he's starting to catch on ;)  kids are funny.  i'm going to miss the funny stories from this class, but know i'll get many more in the classes to come!  (1st and 6th here i come...)

today i walked into the living room and audrey was playing guitar, like usual.  she was playing a song she plays often.  a song that i love.  a song called "another lonely day" by ben harper.  today i laid on the couch and listened to the words, and was surprised to see how relevant it feels for today. "yes indeed, i'm alone again, and here comes emptiness crashin' in.  it's either love or hate, i can't find in between... it wouldn't have worked out anyway.  so now it's just another lonely day."  life.  brings you ups and downs.  sometimes we don't understand why things happen the way they do, but i absolutely know God is always always always in charge and never leaves us hanging.  thank goodness for that!

closing up my final chapter here at utah state.  it's a sobering and sullen occasion.  i keep thinking in terms of lasts.  "this is my last tuesday here... this is my last basketball game here... this is my last aggie ice cream run here..."  logan has been good to me. very, very good to me.  so i'm sad to see it go.  they say when one door closes another always opens, and i believe that... but for the first time in my life, i don't have a next step.  i don't konw what the next door will be.  sure, student teaching in the spring and graduation in may, but after that?  beats me.  my life is an open book, just waiting to be filled.  so, let it be written.  mmhmm.